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8-30-2005

Model: Kumi All photos ©2005 by Midori

Japan - ah, the land of cherry blossoms, submissive geisha girls and tentacle hentai sex on every street corner!

Oh if that were only true…. So let's talk a bit about the realities and the myths about sex in Japan.

First, let's set the stage. If you want to get an armchair tour of today's real Tokyo, my old hometown, watch the movies Lost in Translation and Tokyo Decadence. The former is a pretty spot-on depiction of Tokyo as the weird cross-section of the ancient and the futuristic, East and West. Movies like "The Last Samurai" or some imported bondage movies give perspectives about as accurate as watching "Lone Ranger" reruns or Debbie Does Dallas would be in understanding contemporary American culture and sexuality.

Japanese sexuality seems profoundly contradictory to the outsider. How is it that a first world nation with one of the lowest violent crime rates can have so much violence in their sexual imagery? How can such polite people read graphic sexual comic books on the trains, right in front of pre-pubescent schoolgirls? How could a country so concerned about propriety and good manners take women of a foreign country and force them into the prostitution as "comfort women"? Why do so many of the porn actresses look like frightened little girls? Japanese sexuality feels weirdly exotic, contradictory and compartmentalized to any westerner that comes in contact with its varied erotic expression. It just feels unfamiliar and supremely kinky to many westerners.

For this very reason Japanese smut, porn and techniques have become a Western obsession in the new media age. Ten years ago very few of my friends knew about manga, hentai, Shibari or bukkake. Now, all of that is standard lingo for the web-telligent pervert. In the various underground sexual communities of America, one's supposed mastery of ancient Japanese sexual ways and otaku savvy are currency to social status and road to possible stud-hood.

Kink is based on taboos - if someone engages in taboo sexual expression, well, that's out of the 'norm' and thus it's kinky. Taboos are, by their very nature, culturally relative and not absolute. For example, a woman exposing her breasts on a beach in America or Saudi Arabia is taboo and titillating, even against local laws. In many parts of Europe it's just normal. Boobs are taboo in many ways in America, which would explain our boob-fetish culture.

In Japan it is social shame, not guilt, which underlies kinky sex. In the more Judeo-Christian west, kink and sexual taboo seems to be more closely associated with the sense of guilt. Guilt flows down, from rules and expectations set by powers or authority greater then the person, such as God, parents and teachers. The rules are constant whether the authority is there or not, whether the individual is alone or not. ("Masturbation is a sin," etc.) Shame, on the other hand, affects horizontally - it's the critical gaze of your peers. Shame is about failure to fulfill the expectations or your social station or role. ("An executive should not behave this way at work.")

Shame isn't bound by a sense of permanence, so if you're not fulfilling your usual social role, you're off the hook. You can play with the taboo in sex as long as you "save face" and no peers see you. There are quietly sanctioned outlets for breaking the rules. As long as you break the rules within these confines, you're safe. (When checking in to Japanese "Love Hotels," it's fully automated such that the customers don't have to see or interact with any humans, thus saving face.) You can do almost any kinky sex act as long as a) you don't get caught b) you do as your peers do and c) don't embarrass others.

To the Japanese, all foreigners are the ultimate outsiders and it is understood that they don't grasp the delicate social balance of shame and saving face. Thus the foreigners are rarely allowed to see the kinky Japanese in its full and natural habitat. This is why so much of Japanese sexuality seems so compartmentalized.

There are some of you out there that believe that everyone in Japan does Shibari and it's a nationally accepted erotic high art. It's not. Proper society looks down their nose upon the underground kinksters in Japan, as they do in the U.S. Recently, I've been working with various art commissions in Japan to use images of Shibari, among other things, to do installation pieces. With board after board, and even art magazines, I've been challenged in the use of images from "a subculture of sexually immature people and their ways." (That is a direct quote from one of their letters, by the way!)

Now, what about the geisha? Isn't she the picture and ideal model of the perfect submissive? The samurai warrior, isn't he the ultimate model for the dominant male?

No. It's the opposite. The samurai is born into his position. He no more consented to his fate than the farmer born bound to his land. He is expected to swear allegiance and loyalty to his clan and lord. He is expected to follow his superior's orders, even marry whom he is ordered to marry, and he must take his own life with the slightest of insults. He is the model of obedience.

The geisha, on the other hand, is a highly practiced and well-paid entertainer, versed in the art of managing, flattering, amusing and babysitting their clientele. With the social code of taboos behind closed doors, the businessmen wealthy enough to afford the geisha's time can behave like giant babies and drunken teenagers like they never are at the office. So sometimes the geisha ends up being a very well paid babysitter. They're adept at influencing the headspace of the individuals and atmosphere of the room. They know lots of games to keep their clients entertained. They top the room like no one's business.

So what's with the tentacles, you ask. Well, that I'll have to share with you in another installment!

Midori is a globetrotting kinkster, who parties and teaches cool classes on fun sex and wild kink all over the world. Her latest book is Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink. Send letters, responses and questions to Midori at midori@fhp-inc.com.

Diva's Debauchery - by Midori Top of the Guide

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